Post by Persephone on Jan 2, 2009 14:34:41 GMT -7
Crimson lips pursed as long nails drove into the soft flesh of her palms. What was wrong with her? Why did she have to be so terrible? She'd lost Koz, and now her thoughts turned to leaving Andre. Sires had never seemed to last for her, there was always a missing note leaving her feeling incomplete. She loved the D'darys, though hesitant at first to call herself one of them, she had found a family within those walls, yet she felt she was missing something. Anger, frustration coursed through her veins, she'd always been subject to her emotions, always been one to turn with the tides yet so many emotions ran through her being at the moment that she knew not where to turn.
A part of her wanted to lash out at him, throw holy water over him, scream words of hate, of her quickly ebbing away trust. Though was it anger, or simply disappointment? She'd always found a reason to be disappointed wherever she was, it wasn't enough, yet she simply couldn't settle. She'd warned Draccy of her coming choice, as much as she loved her brother and knew it would pain him, she knew not what other course there was for her to take. The loss of Koz had devastated her more than she had let on. She loved him, more completely than she had any other, even Alex whom she had pinned away for years after. She lost a part of herself as they said their goodbyes, though few tears had been shed. Instead she turned to anger, anger against the woman she had loved as a dear friend, the woman who she felt had come between them. Though it should be said such anger was in itself, unjustified. She'd hurt the woman, albeit not intentionally as much as she had. In fact she had caused far more damage than she could truly hope to undo, yet it had been done.
She'd wanted to destroy all that lie within her path, precious artifacts irreplaceable photos, even the necklace he had first given her that now remained against her bosom, pressed to her heart. Every moment that caused it to move against her skin casting a pain to course through her heart and mind, reminding her that he was gone.
She couldn't stand the silence though, and hearing about how Andre had done this and this for this piress, ones who weren't even family...yet at least. Jealousy, yes she was a jealous woman. Perhaps the ever-attentive Deth, whom she still called Father and ever would, had caused her expectations to rise to an unattainable level. She didn't want to leave that which she'd attained, yet...she couldn't stand it. She wanted to support her friend, one so very dear to her heart words could not express, yet with every reminder part of her began to resent this coming change. In the beginning she had embraced it, even encouraged it, as she was wont to do with all paths the Fates placed in her sight to attain. Now however, each reminder simply turned the blade already fully within her heart. She had no place in her person for broken promises, a lesson she had learned early in her unlife.
A crash was heard, echoed by the sound of piano strings being struck by over stressed hammers as keys depressed in hurried fashion, and the small light she had placed at her piano crashed through the upstairs window where her room in the Justearian hall was found. She hated this feeling, and yet she just couldn't shake it. She'd barely heard from the man whom she called sire, and when she did it seemed it was only to conduct business for clan. And yet to hear once more that another had his attentions caused her grief. He hadn't even left her a message asking how she was fairing with Koz' departure. That too pained her, though thankfully she had been to two she called brother Rodargo and Draccy. Such solace had they offered her, along with Dea, such strength she had garnered from their support, though she knew none could fill the voids now within her heart, of choice absence and the pains of neglect. Trust once broken was hard to rebuild, and trust in her sire was quickly ebbing away.
A part of her wanted to lash out at him, throw holy water over him, scream words of hate, of her quickly ebbing away trust. Though was it anger, or simply disappointment? She'd always found a reason to be disappointed wherever she was, it wasn't enough, yet she simply couldn't settle. She'd warned Draccy of her coming choice, as much as she loved her brother and knew it would pain him, she knew not what other course there was for her to take. The loss of Koz had devastated her more than she had let on. She loved him, more completely than she had any other, even Alex whom she had pinned away for years after. She lost a part of herself as they said their goodbyes, though few tears had been shed. Instead she turned to anger, anger against the woman she had loved as a dear friend, the woman who she felt had come between them. Though it should be said such anger was in itself, unjustified. She'd hurt the woman, albeit not intentionally as much as she had. In fact she had caused far more damage than she could truly hope to undo, yet it had been done.
She'd wanted to destroy all that lie within her path, precious artifacts irreplaceable photos, even the necklace he had first given her that now remained against her bosom, pressed to her heart. Every moment that caused it to move against her skin casting a pain to course through her heart and mind, reminding her that he was gone.
She couldn't stand the silence though, and hearing about how Andre had done this and this for this piress, ones who weren't even family...yet at least. Jealousy, yes she was a jealous woman. Perhaps the ever-attentive Deth, whom she still called Father and ever would, had caused her expectations to rise to an unattainable level. She didn't want to leave that which she'd attained, yet...she couldn't stand it. She wanted to support her friend, one so very dear to her heart words could not express, yet with every reminder part of her began to resent this coming change. In the beginning she had embraced it, even encouraged it, as she was wont to do with all paths the Fates placed in her sight to attain. Now however, each reminder simply turned the blade already fully within her heart. She had no place in her person for broken promises, a lesson she had learned early in her unlife.
A crash was heard, echoed by the sound of piano strings being struck by over stressed hammers as keys depressed in hurried fashion, and the small light she had placed at her piano crashed through the upstairs window where her room in the Justearian hall was found. She hated this feeling, and yet she just couldn't shake it. She'd barely heard from the man whom she called sire, and when she did it seemed it was only to conduct business for clan. And yet to hear once more that another had his attentions caused her grief. He hadn't even left her a message asking how she was fairing with Koz' departure. That too pained her, though thankfully she had been to two she called brother Rodargo and Draccy. Such solace had they offered her, along with Dea, such strength she had garnered from their support, though she knew none could fill the voids now within her heart, of choice absence and the pains of neglect. Trust once broken was hard to rebuild, and trust in her sire was quickly ebbing away.
