Post by MavericksChild on Mar 7, 2009 22:01:20 GMT -7
Anger. Pure, unadulterated anger. That’s what she felt. Defeat. Sorrow. These were aftershocks. Many things ran through her mind. She almost had attacked them both. She -wanted- them to die. To feel as hurt as she felt. She wanted them to look up at her with the same sorrow in their eyes, as she held in her own now. Right after it had happened, she had passed them in the hall. She stopped and watched. Stared at them. It would be so easy to lash out. To utter how much she hated them as she drown them in Holy Water.
Coaxing from another is what made her finally turn and walk away. That was the precise moment that the anger became something else.
Instead, she called Shikon. Her fingers punched out the number as rage still coursed through her. The other end of the line picked up.
“I'm really angry.” Mav stated into her phone piece.
“I figured. “
“Why would you do that?” Mav almost whispered. She truly wanted to know why Shikon would. How she could?
“I do not have a problem with her. I like her.”
“ But you know I do. And if nothing else, we've always stuck together. We didn't bring someone into the family that people had issues with. You know that. That's why you didn't have Koz.”
Mav paused for a moment. “Would you not think that I am very upset about this? That this would upset me more? Especially for YOU to just by pass what I'm feeling over this, because you like her?”
“ You brought her in the family twice. I get to know her.. I like her. And I am supposed to just turn my back cause why?” Shikon answered.
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Could not comprehend Shikon saying these things. They had always been together. Always chosen each other over the masses. Her face screwed up in anger. “ Fine. Thank you for disregarding my feelings. And thank you for giving a damn.”
“And what feelings did you tell me about ? None. I spent all night last night trying to calm her down. You never said a word. I didn’t know you bloody well cared.”
“ For starters, I didn't know she had gone to you.” Mav referred to the previous nights argument. “ Second, when SHE starts her BS up again today, one of the first things she told me was "even Shi said you worded it wrong". She took something I said, and told me to f**k off out of the blue! When I was kind of pouring my feelings out to her. Fine, I could have gotten over it. I did. And why would I say a word to you? over a minor tiff? I'm not going to go wailing to you over ridicules things.“ She was beginning to rant. Anger spurred her, hurt willed her to speak. “AND, she not only went to you, she went to Malk too! She turned a f**king mole hill into a mountain! So if you want to coddle her. and say "It'll be ok" to her. go right ahead. This whole BS started tonight because I was joking in a meeting with someone Grin wants to sire, saying I liked Ivan more than her. NORMAL stuff for us! And she went off again. Saying she's sick of me saying that. Then she went on again, not taking responsibility for her part in the previous tiff. It was all MY fault, because -I- worded it wrong. She had no business telling ANYONE what I had said. JUST to make herself feel better. Just so people like you, could coddle her and tell her she was right! I'm f**king livid at her. LIVID that she ran to you. I'm LIVID that Robert and you were discussing my failure at challenging him! THAT'S how I feel.
Mav paused again. She couldn’t tell if Shikon was still on the line or not. But the timer was still going on her display screen, so she assumed that she was. “ If I could have killed you both last night, I would have.” She spoke of Robert and Shikon, but didn’t clarify with Shi. “ If I could kill Rile this very second, I would! And not bat an eye.“ she began to laugh foolishly at her stupidity. “And what's WORSE. Worse!!!!! Is I JUST told Lyric that you'd choose me over Rile any day.“ She stopped for a moment. “And I am wrong. F**king. wrong. So good luck to you and your kumquat. Hope she's what you want.”
Still, there was silence. Shikon didn’t retort. She didn’t argue. There simply was nothing. Mav blinked as she looked at her display again, just to see if the timer was blinking. If she had hung up, at least -that- would have been something. She closed the cell phone and hung her hands at her sides.
Rejection from the one who mattered most.
She had returned home right after that. Maybe Shi would come and she could confront her. Mav waited, sitting in her room. She thought things over. The defeat she felt was like a giant boulder sitting on her chest. She couldn’t move. Didn’t even try. Didn’t want to. What was left to her, if the one person who had always been with her, had traded her in? “How could she?” She spoke to her empty room. “For what? Rile. Useless. Moody.. More trouble than she is worth. And she chose her.” Her words seeped into each part of her bedroom. Her sadness was thick in the air. Tangible.
Mav contemplated. With her father in perpetual sleep, she only had Shikon. Now she didn’t. She had no reason to stay here anymore. This was no longer her home. For a moment, she toyed with the idea of severing her father. She refused to accept Rile as her sister. She refused to accept Shikon’s betrayal. No, she could never sever him for something that her moth-- Shikon had done.
Her eyes closed gently. Maybe it was time. She had always said, without Shikon and Heimdag, she would meet the sun. That would be true defeat. Her eyes opened and she stared at her surroundings. Rile wasn’t worth her losing Shikon. And she would not give the little piece of crap the satisfaction of being her death. Better to stay “alive”. Stay awake and make her sorry. Show her the true being that she was. The side of her that Rile had never seen. The side of her that earned her the name Beast. Shikon would remember too. In due time.
Mav stood from the edge of her bed and walked to her closet. Roughly, she yanked her various skirts from hangers and threw them over her arm. She did this in turn to tops, under garments, a few pairs of sandals that she owned. All ended up in a large duffle bag. And when she had cleared all of her most treasured things, she pulled out a scroll of teleportation and spoke.
“Wulfinite and 38th.”
MavericksChild had finally left the home of the Gyllensteirna.
Coaxing from another is what made her finally turn and walk away. That was the precise moment that the anger became something else.
Instead, she called Shikon. Her fingers punched out the number as rage still coursed through her. The other end of the line picked up.
“I'm really angry.” Mav stated into her phone piece.
“I figured. “
“Why would you do that?” Mav almost whispered. She truly wanted to know why Shikon would. How she could?
“I do not have a problem with her. I like her.”
“ But you know I do. And if nothing else, we've always stuck together. We didn't bring someone into the family that people had issues with. You know that. That's why you didn't have Koz.”
Mav paused for a moment. “Would you not think that I am very upset about this? That this would upset me more? Especially for YOU to just by pass what I'm feeling over this, because you like her?”
“ You brought her in the family twice. I get to know her.. I like her. And I am supposed to just turn my back cause why?” Shikon answered.
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Could not comprehend Shikon saying these things. They had always been together. Always chosen each other over the masses. Her face screwed up in anger. “ Fine. Thank you for disregarding my feelings. And thank you for giving a damn.”
“And what feelings did you tell me about ? None. I spent all night last night trying to calm her down. You never said a word. I didn’t know you bloody well cared.”
“ For starters, I didn't know she had gone to you.” Mav referred to the previous nights argument. “ Second, when SHE starts her BS up again today, one of the first things she told me was "even Shi said you worded it wrong". She took something I said, and told me to f**k off out of the blue! When I was kind of pouring my feelings out to her. Fine, I could have gotten over it. I did. And why would I say a word to you? over a minor tiff? I'm not going to go wailing to you over ridicules things.“ She was beginning to rant. Anger spurred her, hurt willed her to speak. “AND, she not only went to you, she went to Malk too! She turned a f**king mole hill into a mountain! So if you want to coddle her. and say "It'll be ok" to her. go right ahead. This whole BS started tonight because I was joking in a meeting with someone Grin wants to sire, saying I liked Ivan more than her. NORMAL stuff for us! And she went off again. Saying she's sick of me saying that. Then she went on again, not taking responsibility for her part in the previous tiff. It was all MY fault, because -I- worded it wrong. She had no business telling ANYONE what I had said. JUST to make herself feel better. Just so people like you, could coddle her and tell her she was right! I'm f**king livid at her. LIVID that she ran to you. I'm LIVID that Robert and you were discussing my failure at challenging him! THAT'S how I feel.
Mav paused again. She couldn’t tell if Shikon was still on the line or not. But the timer was still going on her display screen, so she assumed that she was. “ If I could have killed you both last night, I would have.” She spoke of Robert and Shikon, but didn’t clarify with Shi. “ If I could kill Rile this very second, I would! And not bat an eye.“ she began to laugh foolishly at her stupidity. “And what's WORSE. Worse!!!!! Is I JUST told Lyric that you'd choose me over Rile any day.“ She stopped for a moment. “And I am wrong. F**king. wrong. So good luck to you and your kumquat. Hope she's what you want.”
Still, there was silence. Shikon didn’t retort. She didn’t argue. There simply was nothing. Mav blinked as she looked at her display again, just to see if the timer was blinking. If she had hung up, at least -that- would have been something. She closed the cell phone and hung her hands at her sides.
Rejection from the one who mattered most.
She had returned home right after that. Maybe Shi would come and she could confront her. Mav waited, sitting in her room. She thought things over. The defeat she felt was like a giant boulder sitting on her chest. She couldn’t move. Didn’t even try. Didn’t want to. What was left to her, if the one person who had always been with her, had traded her in? “How could she?” She spoke to her empty room. “For what? Rile. Useless. Moody.. More trouble than she is worth. And she chose her.” Her words seeped into each part of her bedroom. Her sadness was thick in the air. Tangible.
Mav contemplated. With her father in perpetual sleep, she only had Shikon. Now she didn’t. She had no reason to stay here anymore. This was no longer her home. For a moment, she toyed with the idea of severing her father. She refused to accept Rile as her sister. She refused to accept Shikon’s betrayal. No, she could never sever him for something that her moth-- Shikon had done.
Her eyes closed gently. Maybe it was time. She had always said, without Shikon and Heimdag, she would meet the sun. That would be true defeat. Her eyes opened and she stared at her surroundings. Rile wasn’t worth her losing Shikon. And she would not give the little piece of crap the satisfaction of being her death. Better to stay “alive”. Stay awake and make her sorry. Show her the true being that she was. The side of her that Rile had never seen. The side of her that earned her the name Beast. Shikon would remember too. In due time.
Mav stood from the edge of her bed and walked to her closet. Roughly, she yanked her various skirts from hangers and threw them over her arm. She did this in turn to tops, under garments, a few pairs of sandals that she owned. All ended up in a large duffle bag. And when she had cleared all of her most treasured things, she pulled out a scroll of teleportation and spoke.
“Wulfinite and 38th.”
MavericksChild had finally left the home of the Gyllensteirna.